Revealing Solène’s Personality Type In The Idea Of You

Revealing Solène’s personality type in The Idea Of You is a deconstruction of “the witty, well-liked, and loyal mom” in Prime video’s breakout movie.


Solène: I didn’t know my being happy would piss so many people off.
Tracy, Solène’s best friend: Did I not warn you? People hate happy women.


Solène is a captivating character in The Idea of You. She is caring, respectful, naturally harmonic, bold, and tactful with others. She’s also successful with her own art gallery, with a socially inclusive community of friends and supporters. 

Until she decides to be happy… 

The digital world explodes in a firestorm of negativity that affects her, her family, friends, and work.  And how it affects her relationship with Hayes Campbell, her love interest who is part of an uber popular boy band.

From a spiritual POV, what’s so interesting is the character maturity and self-awareness arc. We’ve learned, or will learn, what shapes personality development. Who we are becoming. It’s often reflected in how we handle ourselves in difficult situations. As we evolve, we become more aware of who we truly are and how we show up in challenging circumstances or emotionally charged situations. A huge lesson I learned during my tsunami. 

What I now know is that when we move superficially through a challenge without facing our emotions and grasping their orientation, we don’t accept the discomfort, pain and understandings they present. In this instance, ignorance isn’t bliss. In fact, when we ignore our emotions, it sets up repeatable experiences; the same sabotaging behaviors keep playing out over and over.

We must realize and accept aspect of ourselves we don’t like. Why? Because they are part of our organic selves. What I’ve learned is the acceptance of our difficult experiences becomes a source of inspiration; part of our souls evolution. They help us move through similar experiences in the future, at a faster rate. Think of it as an archive file you can review and use to inform future situations. A big life lesson. If you want to learn from me schedule a complimentary call.

So what is Solène’s personality type, you ask? Hold on tight, as we’re about to find out!

Solène: “What if all I need is Izz, my gallery, my artists, and my friends?”


Setting the Stage for Solène’s Reveal + a Brief overview of The Idea of You

The Idea of You features Solène, a forty something mom, dating swoon-worthy Hayes Campbell, the 24-year old lead singer of a famous boy band, August Moon. The 2024 romantic comedy provides an ingenious meet-cute moment—waiting in line to use the bathroom, albeit in a private actor’s trailer. The movie is based on Robinne Lee’s 2017 book of the same name. 

The romcom is complicated by patriarchal thinking around age differences, and rampant publicity surrounding the relationship. The all-ensemble cast, including an ex-husband, a teenage daughter, a bestie, and other band members, adds layers of relatability, divorce complications, and the always tumultuous teenage drama.


Solène: This piece of art is from my friend Sarah. Hayes: What’s it called? Solène: Unclose Me. Hayes: And what do you feel when you look at it? Solène: Everything


Who is Solène?

If you’ve seen the movie, what is your first impression?

My first impression, she’s lively, warm, and diplomatic. She’s sincere and gracious, and fierce about protecting her work, friends, and family. You can witness this in the scene where Hayes buys out the entire art gallery. Won’t go any further here and cause a spoiler alert.

Solène seems to learn about the world and its affairs through her diverse and socially active artist community, and through understanding what is meaningful to them. You can see her sense of energy and wonder as she shares her honesty and feelings about the artists’ works in her gallery. 


A piece of advice shared by her best friend, Anne, as she warns her about bears and the dangers of solo camping, relatable to the trend-on conversation around “bears versus straight men


Revealing Solène’s Myers-Briggs Personality Type Traits + Tendencies

The Big Reveal: Solene’s Spiritual Personality Type 

Based on decades of study, certification, and client work related to Myers-Briggs, I believe Solène is an ESFJ, the Attentive Traveler. Read more about this personality type in my debut book: Unpack Your Personality.

Solène is lively, diplomatic, and gracious. When she speaks with others, she holds a sincere interest in them, which is the way her personality understands other people. ESFJs see people as their muses and find people fascinating. They tend to learn much about the world and its affairs through peole, discovering what’s important to them. This is a scene that’s played out in the movie over a simple sandwich.

As extroverts, they are very comfortable in the outer world and have a deep desire to contribute to meaningful projects while meeting expectations, both theirs and others. Over-delivering on a promise make them happy as it fulfills their caregiving nature. 

One of the driving forces in an ESFJ’s personality type is their attempt to learn from the various communities and cultures that surround them. Often, they take time to consider what the members of each group are thinking and what’s important to them before giving an opinion or a thought. This is played out through Solène’s art gallery, Marchand Collective, and is very representative of her personality type in action. Note, in the scene when Hayes asks for her opinion on a piece, she acquiesces, and instead asks what he thinks before giving hers. So ESFJ!


Solène: What about what people will say?
Hayes: I don’t care what they say.


The Weaknesses In Solène’s Personality Type Are Also Showcased in The Idea of You

A reminder here: we all have strengths and weaknesses, and let’s not forget our greatest personal growth comes from navigating and accepting weakness. Moving on…

Traditionally speaking, an ESFJs dominant personality trait is extroverted feeling (a decision making trait). When this trait is out of balance, their world is controlled by their feelings. This is typically a narrowly defined space where an ESFJ can find themselves at odds with any view of the world that does not see their own clearly held judgements. They may also get ruffled when a feeling-inspired response does not go as anticipated. When dealing with feelings, a variety of complex and deep emotional responses occur, which may be in conflict with whomever or themselves. These behaviors are played out in the following scenes: the art gallery, in Paris, and at the airport. 


Solène: I’m too old for you. Hayes: No, you’re not.


Why Knowing Your Spiritual Personality Type Matters 

You know I’m going to talk about ESFJs from a spiritual POV. In my debut book Unpack Your Personality: Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide. Here is a sneak peek of your spiritual personality, from Chapter 13 dedicated to ESFJs, the Attentive traveler.

You are a warm, outgoing, and persuasive soul. The cooperation whisperer. Confident and always ready to lend a hand. You will quickly respond, after you have a good understanding of people. You’ll hold the intention of positive outcomes — everyone is cared for and getting along. A champion of diplomacy, philanthropy, and generosity is innate to your type.

When traveling, it’s easy for you to have a lively conversation with a complete stranger, probing them for the latest gossip, best places to eat, stay and play, or where to spot a local celebrity. People are naturally attracted to your adventurous and inquisitive nature. This parlays into your desire to understand the broader perspective of human nature.


Spiritual Personality Type Roadmap

The book also offering specific spiritual insights into personal growth based solely on your personality. When you remember to open yourself up to new perspectives you’ll gain a deeper comprehension of the world. Do consider information that is foreign to your value system. This helps you recognize that another’s opinion does not diminish your own worldview. In fact, it can enhance it. When you begin to see the collective, the world before you, as a network of interconnected parts, you step into your becoming. For Attentive types  (ESFJs) this can be a powerful force for good. If you search your soul, this is what truly matters to you. It’s soul purpose however you want to define it! 


Celebrity ESFJ

Think: Grace Kelly, Alicia Keys, Tyra Banks, Whitney Houston, Jennifer Garner, Penelope Cruz… all so different but there is a similar thread that runs through them all. Remember, your personality is only one component of self-understanding. Life experiences and soul purpose are huge factors in getting to know your true self.


A Sneak Peak of Entrepreneurial ESFJs with a Spiritual POV

Entrepreneur: You are The Empress of Arts, as you embody culture, entertainment, and the arts while slowly and quietly moving into a leadership position. See this slow forward motion as a result of a healthy trait indicator. Holding judgements until you understand a situation from many points of view makes you a great leader. 


Can Anyone Truly Unpack Solène?

Solène’s personality type isn’t meant to be put in a 1″x1″ box. Please, I hate those boxes. And know, your not meant to be put in a box. Ever.

How can I or anyone else categorize a person based only on a theory? It’s linear and in my opinion, you cannot. Myers-Briggs® doesn’t take  into account the person’s soul purpose?  Or life experiences? Yes, the movie gives us a tiny glimpse based on a few life experiences. But it’s not the whole picture. Soul purpose and life experiences greatly influence a personality type. In fact, I believe our soul purpose evolves from the experiential roads we take in life!

If you want to explore the shadow aspect of an ESFJ, click here. It’s not always easy to look at yourself, but it’s so worth it. Your shadow self holds the keys to personal growth, and if you look closely, you’ll see the light within!

Do you agree, some of the best things in life are a bit of a mystery? We as humans want to solve everything, but sometimes it’s just not possible. Maybe some mysteries are best left unsolved?

As a side note; Anne Hathaway, who plays the role of Solène, is said to be an ESFJ, the Attentive type.

We Don’t Need Hollywood To Unmask the Idea of You!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a woman approaching 40, 50 or 60. 

Transitioning into retirement. 

Wanting to reclaim your sexuality.

Or wanting to rediscover yourself.

Trust me. You don’t need Hollywood to unmask the Idea of You…

Who you are becoming!

Here’s the secret to reveal the glorious idea of you—Spiritual Personality Typing. You must rely on your guidance instead of searching for the answers externally. Challenge the norms, read more, experience more, and become aware of your self-imposed limitations; saying no is a limitation. Begin to say yes, and see what the world drops into your lap. 

This is critical. You must quiet the noise of the logical mind through spiritual practices that align with your personality type. The personalized archetype section in my book reveals spiritual practices that help build stillness habits. These practices help you embrace the wisdom of your spirit.  Plus they steer your life with intention and purpose. Remember, your personality is the tool your spirit uses to express itself in the physical world.

It’s time to reimagine the idea of you!

P.S. I’m here to help you unpack who you really are + who you are becoming. This involves letting go of your false self. The belief that the logical mind knows best. It doesn’t. It begins with accepting your true self: the meaningful, authentic. + purposeful you. If you want to learn more schedule a complimentary call.




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