Implement these practical mindset tips for a happier Thanksgiving to reduce stress, increase understanding, and maybe even make Aunt Mary’s pumpkin pie taste a little better. 😉
The Thanksgiving season is upon us—a time for gratitude, giving thanks, and spending quality time with family and friends. What typically unfolds?
- Stressful road trips
- The impossible task of completing all your work before leaving the office
- Packing up the kids, homemade goodies, and the family pet, and off you go
- Flying—an entirely different animal, and often more stressful as you try to practice restraint in what to pack to avoid excessive luggage fees (and I will not go down the pandemic rabbit hole!)
Do these statistics resonate? According to the American Psychological Association, women are nearly twice as likely to report cooking on Thanksgiving (66% of women vs. 35% of men). They’re also more likely to shop for food (52% vs. 32%) and wash dishes (70% vs. 41%). Add to that the fact that women make 80% of the travel decisions—on top of taking care of the kids, the house, and working, all while trying to find some #metime.
Anywhooooo…
What’s Really Important?
What’s really important? Is it a juicy turkey (okay, that helps 😏)? An Instagram-worthy photo to share? The perfect place setting? Or do you spend your time being a helicopter mom, making sure the kids use their manners, your guests are happy, and the stuffing isn’t dry? Do any of these things really matter? We get so caught up in idealizing the perfect day that we often miss important family moments.
I know, I know—dealing with your entire family can add a whole layer of stress. Add in travel, packing, and congested highways, and the holidays can become overwhelming. But what if you could first understand yourself better? What if you could also learn to understand your partner and kids? Once you begin recognizing your own behavior patterns, you’ll likely start seeing similar patterns in others. This awareness can help you relax, knowing that we often take things too personally. We do this because a comment usually mirrors something we need to work on ourselves, or your partner may lash out because it’s a wound they need to heal.
It Starts With Practical Mindset Tips
I’ve come up with a new way to look at how we connect and engage while on vacation. My approach involves weaving travel experiences with the psychology of Myers-Briggs®, a logical framework for understanding personality, and intention. Lot’s more to learn in my debut book: Unpack Your Personality: Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide.
Let’s take a closer look at how the stress of Thanksgiving travel can be minimized by paying attention to personality traits. First and foremost, are you familiar with Myers-Briggs® and do you know your type? If you don’t, there are plenty of free quizzes online—just Google it or consult a certified Myers-Briggs instructor. Or connect with me—I can help you figure it out. It can sometimes get a bit complicated due to family dynamics and societal influences.
Myers-Briggs® uses typology to uncover aspects of yourself that you may or may not be aware of. Today, I’ve woven typology into the context of vacationing, with a touch of spirituality, to help reveal your unconscious travel behaviors. You know, those pesky triggers that:
- Set you off
- Upset you
- Cause stress
- Make you recoil around certain people
You get the idea.
Please note, I’ve been studying typology for over a decade, and what I’m presenting here is a simplified version for the sake of time. My goal is to gently introduce the topic without overwhelming you. If you’re ready to dive deeper, just enter a topic of interest in the blog search bar, and voilà—something relevant is likely to pop up. This blog is becoming a growing learning library.
A Closer Look at How Practical Mindset Tips Can Help
Many of you are familiar with the terms introversion and extroversion, yet many of us don’t realize the huge impact these traits can have on our personality. Extroversion and introversion are just two of the eight traits that influence our behaviors and how we use them to connect and engage during a vacation. Also, note that these traits are linked to each function in your functional stack—you are both an extrovert and an introvert; one just tends to be more dominant for you!
How Does All of This Play Out During a Thanksgiving Travel Holiday?
One of the most well-known typology differences is between an extrovert and an introvert.
Extroverts are all about “the more, the merrier.” They are typically at the center of it all, excited and invigorated by the activities and people around them, and they will talk their way through every decision.
Introverts, on the other hand, tend to observe, are soft-spoken, and are wonderful listeners. However, there’s a catch: if a topic of interest comes up, they can become lively conversationalists.
There is no such thing as a pure introvert or pure extrovert. Such a man would be in a lunatic asylum – Carl Jung, Founder of Analytical Psychology.
True Story…
Sensors vs. Intuitives Thanksgiving Gathering
Sensors
These types are anchored in the physical world. Introverted sensors seek traditions, reliving or reenacting old memories. They romanticize past Thanksgivings, imagining how they used to be—or should be—based on the past, remembering the good while somehow forgetting any past holiday drama. They might get so caught up in the perfection of it all that they lose sight of what’s truly important: family, friends, and giving.
On the other hand, extroverted sensors aren’t as focused on family traditions, as they are too busy doing things. They enjoy novelty and new experiences—Thanksgiving away, perhaps?
Sensors make up 75% of the population vs Intuitives which make up 25%. According to Joel Mark Witt and Antonia Dodge, authors of Personality Hacker.
Intuitives
Intuitives are all about possibilities and opportunities. They’re not tied to traditions and often lose track of time. They might suggest a trip to the beach or skip the holidays altogether. An introverted sensor would never go for that! An extroverted intuitive might want to change everything—why turkey, let’s try a vegan dish—while an introverted intuitive will still be mulling over the idea long after the dishes are cleared.
A tip when sharing Thanksgiving with an intuitive type: If you want to leave on time to beat traffic, give them an extra 30 minutes. Also, share why the holidays are meaningful to you—whether it’s baking, setting the table, or making new memories. These tangible aspects of the day bring joy to an introverted sensor.
If you’re an intuitive and start feeling restless, find someone to have a deep conversation with, or collaborate with your sensing partner to change one aspect of the holiday—maybe serve tiramisu alongside the pumpkin pie!
Feeling vs. Thinking Pondering Thanksgiving
Feeling Traits
If you have a feeling trait, you make decisions based on others’ feelings. If you have an extroverted feeling trait, you’re likely to focus on everyone else’s needs, often trying to make others happy. A question to ponder: How are you making yourself happy? ASK FOR HELP! People aren’t mind-readers, and more often than not, your family is willing to pitch in.
If you have an introverted feeling trait, you’re more inwardly focused on your own values, morals, and sentiments. You’re not one to go with the crowd just for the sake of conformity—you’re highly individualistic.
Around 80% of women have a feeling trait, which is probably one of the main reasons why women are often associated with nurturing. 😇 According to Myers-Briggs®
Thinking Traits
Holidays aren’t always very logical—mythical characters, traditions that date back who knows how many years… Thinkers might ask, “Do we really need 30 different types of dishes? Why not just seven?” They believe less is more. Their feeling partner might respond, “But what will everyone think if we don’t serve both turkey and ham? What if someone doesn’t like turkey?” The logical partner might counter, “There are six other items on the table. I’m sure they’ll find something they like.”
If you have a thinking trait, it’s important to approach a person with a feeling trait with care. Feelers want their efforts acknowledged and appreciated. They want to know that others recognize the extra effort they’ve put in—whether it’s scheduling a trip, packing suitcases, or making sure there are extra goodies. Thinkers need to recognize this: “I see that you’re taking great care to make everyone happy, but are you taking care of yourself? How can I help?”
Thinkers have a tough time when it comes to feeling and note that two-thirds of all men are thinkers, while two-thirds of all females are women. – Authors Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, author of Type Talk.
Hopefully, this makes things easier to see why feelers are often hurt by a thinker’s logical stance. Additionally, a thinker can often be confused as to the rationality behind a feeler’s choice.
Judging vs. Perceiving Thanksgiving Styles
Judging Traits
A person with a judging trait is likely to have a list—probably more than one—and they will want to follow it. They’ll make scheduled pit stops because they’re on the list and are unlikely to detour, even if traffic is backed up for miles. They make a plan and stick to it, determined to see it through to completion.
Perceiving Traits
Perceivers are open-ended, flexible, and dislike rigidity. They are often rule-breakers. This can agitate a person with a judging trait because their mind is made up, and they won’t want to deviate from the list—they have a goal to achieve. However, a perceiver might want to make several stops along the way to explore, which can be frustrating for a judging type.
Can you see how these two personality traits might clash while on vacation? Here’s a question to ask yourself: What happens if everything on the list doesn’t get crossed off? Is it really worth getting upset over?
Or, do you really need to stop right now? Why not wait until the way back? Why not add it to the list or schedule a couple of hours of free time on the drive for spontaneous stops?
A Review: How to Implement these practical mindset tips for a happier Thanksgiving
If you’d like to explore more of my posts on reducing travel anxiety, check out How to Avoid Stress For Your Personality Type. Another fun read, especially if you’re road-tripping this year, is Ten Simple Ways to Avoid Road Trip Stress.
Please know that I am writing to you with a purpose. One of my dreams is to inspire a new travel paradigm—one that’s happier, intentional, and soul-driven. I’m also on a mission to help you understand The Soul’s Role in Personality Typing.
Join the Revolution
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Post updated: 11.12.2024
Photo Credit: Unpslash
