How to Discover Your Powerful True Self and Stop Pleasing!

How to discover your powerful true self and stop pleasing others, is typically a forever journey. Yet it does get easier. I’m here to share that you’ll have times when you slip back into your pleasing ways. The good news is you recognize it faster and move through it quicker.


Following our inner guidance may feel risky and frightening at first because we are no longer playing it safe, doing what we should do, pleasing others, following rules, or deferring to outside authority.

Shakti Gawain, author and cofounder of New World Library


Are you a pleaser? Is yes, your go-to answer, always? If you said yes, keep on reading as I think you’ll find this post of interest.

  • How many times have you said yes, to fit in?
  • How many times have you said yes, to please? 
  • How many times have you said yes to keep the peace? 
  • How many times did you say yes to be loved? 
  • How many times did you say yes, to be accepted?
  • How many times have you gone along without voicing your opinion?
  • How many times have you identified with another, casting aside your TrueSelf?

Little by little, the yeses take you far away from your True Self, your soul center, the powerful you, and plant the seeds of struggles, challenges, hurt, and pain! I know this pain and loss of power. This is my story. Pressed for time, read the cliff notes on How to Discover Your Powerful TrueSel here.


I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. Carl Jung


Why Choice is Vital to What You Become

The quote from Carl Jung gives me goosebumps, as I know it to be the truth. What you choose is vital to what you become. Your thoughts, values, and beliefs all lead to choices. If you choose through the lens of someone else’s views or bow to another’s choice, you give your power away through pleasing.

So the question becomes, what is your “please” all about?

For me, and probably for most of you, it is easy to deny pleasing. Why? Pleasing enters our lives in tiny ways. You say to yourself, ‘one time won’t hurt me,’ or you make it about somebody else, I’ll keep the peace for my family, or I want to say no, but if I do, they’ll see me as lesser then. But the problem with pleasing is it becomes easy to repeat. Those tiny ways of not being true to yourself have now become your truth. A truth that is now the foundation of your thoughts, leading to poor choices and wrong actions. It detours you around the path of your TrueSelf, the truth of who you really are.

#journalprompt – This week, I want you to take note when you please another over yourself. The journal prompt question is, ‘what is my please all about.’ Is it about belonging, love, fitting in, to be seen? Dig deep. This is important work!


Choices, ahh, the spiritual roads of life.  Nina Zapala, author of Unpack Your Personality: Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide – A New Age Travel Guide!


This Is How the Soul’s Role in Personality Typing Came into Play

So, where did my need to please come from? Well, you can probably guess, childhood. It was my need to please my mother, to be seen and heard, and to be loved. As a big spiritualist, I thought I had addressed these issues; obviously, I hadn’t.

At the time, I believed myself to be spiritually awoken. I’ve been a student of spirituality since my teens. At first, I went to my spiritual tools to figure out how my life became so distorted and why I was continually making the wrong choices. The message that came up during meditation was to use what you’ve learned. This didn’t make any sense at the time until it did.


The Ti-Fe Responsive Pairings (Traditionalists call these Functional Pairings)

What arose were the teachings from a year-long spiritual retreat. I started to rethink what I had learned about personality typing. And what I came to realize was my personality type ENTP was very unhealthy and out-of-balance. As I dug deep and started to explore my traits, I found my Ti (introverted thinking my secondary trait) was trying to maintain some sense of inner balance while my tertiary trait Fe (extroverted feeling trait) was out of control. It would say yes to be loved, recognized, and heard. So the yesses came flying out of my mouth before I could even think or make a wiser choice.


Discover Your Powerful True Self

Once I began to identify the root of my unwise choices, I started to apply mindfulness practices to my daily life. I learned my extroverted feeling trait when left to its own devices was actually harmful. This unbalanced trait was my soul whispering its time to let go of the old childhood wound. It has no relevance in your life today. If you believe we are all connected, then I want you to start believing your personality traits are all connected, too.

As soon as I released the overactive feeling trait, my thinking trait became more prominent, which gave me so much clarity, confidence, and courage to start making better decisions. And this newfound confidence, clarity, and courage put me on the path to my TrueSelf, my truth, and my powerful self. It was exhilarating and an essential part of my healing and awakening journey.

Do you know your personality traits well enough to infuse them with spiritual understandings? If you’re wondering how spiritual personality typing can help you discover your powerful TrueSelf, I can help. Book a complimentary discovery call if you’re ready to stop pleasing and step into your powerful self.


Reclaiming the Present Moment ⏤ and Your Life –Jon Kabat-Zinn, author Mindfulness for Beginners


Mindfulness Practices To Help You Discover Your Powerful True Self

Mindfulness practices partner with personality typing for exponential growth. A mindfulness practice slows the busyness and creates space for you to stop and think about what you’re doing instead of spending your days on repeat – doing exactly what you did yesterday. It’s been reported that mindfulness is a powerful tool to identify mindless beliefs, behaviors, and negative self-talk. If you want to learn more, a good read on the topic is Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of Mindfulness for Beginners.

A few easy and practical mindfulness practices you can use to help you discover your powerful TrueSelf. If you decide to incorporate a mindfulness practice, please know these three areas are key; intentionality, a present-moment focus, and non-judgment; of yourself or others.

– Pause and prayer

When I find myself becoming triggered by someone or something, I pause for three long breaths and pray, using these questions; Is this my lesson, or do I smile and release it? If it’s my lesson, I don’t react (so hard). Instead, I pause and ask for guidance. The answer usually presents itself if not at the moment it arrives a few days later. Then I do the work. If I’m supposed to release, I feel the tension leave me and send the person or situation love and light.


– Walking Meditations

I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time sitting still. Walking meditations allow me to think about triggering behaviors. I ask for guidance and then release it, trusting an answer will come. Walking has always been a wonderful way to disconnect. For me, it’s highly pleasurable because I forget my trigger and instead focus on the beauty that’s around me. Your active meditation may be dancing, hiking, baking, biking, painting…


– Mindful Breathing

My simple way of incorporating mindful breathing. I use an antique Rosary my mom gifted to me, which was her mom’s. Yes, it’s precious. You can use a crystal, or a plain beaded necklace, or nothing at all. I need something to help me focus. Each bead represents a breath. I inhale love and light and exhale toxins and negative energy.🙏


Recap: How to Discover Your Powerful True Self and Stop Pleasing

– Do you identify as a pleaser? If you continually say yes when you want to say no, the answer is probably yes,

– What is your please about? Typically it stems from an unmet childhood need,

– Are you aware of traits in your personality that add to your pleasing ways,

– Using mindfulness practices to bring you to a state of awareness,

– Employing mindfulness practices to help reveal and calm pleasing triggers.


Ready to Learn More About the Soul’s Role in Personality Typing

I hope you found “How to Discover Your Powerful TrueSelf and Stop Pleasing” beneficial. I’m passionate about introducing the idea of soul work as a component of personality typing. The 1950s model is fantastic, but as we awaken to our spiritual needs, we must incorporate the gifts of a healthy personality type to align with our signature, SoulSelf. When we do this, we express our soul’s intentions through our personality. As a result, we show up in the world with great clarity, full of joy, passion, and purpose. This is the path to enlightened living.


What Are You Waiting For?

Are these questions ruminating in your mind; “Who Am I?” “How Do I Fit Into The World?” “Why Am I Here?” “What About My Dreams and Desires?” Know you are not alone 97% of people desire to know themselves better.

Here’s the thing, 97% want to change, but many of us don’t know how to unravel our conditioned selves, the selves layered in false beliefs. So, I want to help you unspool Who We Are Not, to unveil the person “you learned” to be, to shed the FalseSelf persona, to discover the truth of you!

Let me introduce you to the Soul’s Role In Personality Typing; it’s personality typing with a spiritual understanding. I help you discover your TrueSelf, your truth, by revealing a process to unveil a healthy personality, one that your unique SoulSelf inspires. What I know, everything you are seeking is already within you. I provide resources using your personality type traits infused with spiritual know-how to help you clarify who you really are; your TrueSelf.

I want you to join the 3%’ers community – with those who are clear about who they really are, those who are living an enlightened life. I’m here to share the liberating lessons that I learned going through my life tsunami. What are you waiting for? It’s time.



If you’re an individual who’s spiritually open, ready to discover who you really are, and know you’re more than your struggles and fears, I welcome you. I’m on a mission to build a thriving community to help you rediscover your True Self, the truth of who you really are.

I’m here for you, to walk you through challenges and change. To help you create a life beyond your wildest daydreams.  Contact me if you desire a customized coaching session to identify your soul-inspired personality type to bring clarity along with passion, purpose, and the joy you are here to share with the world.

Note: I’m a certified Myers-Briggs® instructor with an intuitive side and ready to introduce you to a new paradigm in personality typing supported by a spiritual understanding.


Join The Movement

Are you ready to become your own new path-maker and rediscover yourself? If so, I’d love to see you on Pinterest or  Instagram. The best way to feel part of this community is by subscribing; I’m debating on a newsletter or quarterly magazine. What do you prefer? 

It’s Time to Unpack Your Personality Type ©️ – Nina Zapala, a Curious Type, ENTP

Photo by Alfred Schrock on Unsplash




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