Can Couples Who Fight on Vacation Return Home Happy

Can couples who fight on vacation return home happy?

What? How? Why? Nina, this makes no sense.
Actually, it makes perfect sense — once you shift the lens, darling.
Let me help you reframe fighting, not as soul-crushing conflict, but as a lively invitation to know yourself (and your partner) better. Yes, even (and especially) on vacation.

You see, entertaining, enlivening, sometimes emotionally-charged conversations can be a healthy — even magnetic — part of your relationship when you learn to see them differently.

As an ENTP, aka The Curious Traveler, I’ve elevated the idea of “fighting” into what I lovingly call lively discussion sessions. Think of them as emotional espresso shots — sometimes bitter, always awakening.

But hey, full disclosure — if your relationship is locked in a loop of toxicity, with blowouts that leave emotional bruises rather than breakthroughs… let’s pause. You may need deeper, hands-on support (hello, couples therapy).

Harmonious travelers (ENFJ)  bring warmth, optimism, and deep emotional presence to relationships — but be aware of your tendency to define yourself by the relationship’s emotional depth. This awareness opens the door to more balanced, fulfilling connections.” – An Excerpt from my book: Unpack Your Personality

Personality Traits Are Your Relationship’s Happiness Compass 

Here’s a sacred question:
Have you begun the beautiful, sometimes bumpy work of learning your core personality traits? Not the curated social media version of you. I’m talking about the real, wild, breathtaking truth of who you naturally are — and who your partner is, too.

This is the foundation. The secret sauce. The compass you didn’t know your love life has been begging for.

Knowing your quirky, enlightening, and soul-level traits? That’s when the ordinary becomes extraordinary — especially on vacation.

On A Personal Note

Let’s get real — I’ve been through my own 7-year life tsunami.
Loss. Ego deaths. Relationship heartquakes.
That sacred unraveling was my invitation to rethink it all.
I speak openly about these experiences (and yes, the cringe-worthy lessons) in my newsletter — you can find soul-soaked inspiration there if your romantic ship also feels adrift.

Want to dive even deeper? Schedule a Travel Personality Session with me. We’ll unpack your true travel type, so your next trip (and yes, your next argument) serves growth — not guilt.

Now back to the story.

Travel Brings Power and Love Back Into Your Life –– Rumi, a 13th-century Persian Poet

So… Can Couples Who Fight On Vacation Return Home Happy?

I believe the answer is yes. But it’s not about fixing your partner. Or wrangling your relationship into something it’s not.
Instead, it’s about shifting perception — dropping outdated expectations and seeing your partner through the lens of their own personality blueprint.

We’ve been conditioned to seek outside of ourselves.
Not understanding that nobody, and I mean nobody knows us like we do.
We find love and believe oh they’ll know me and do everything to please me. This is a recipe for disaster. It feeds conflict, which is heavy and combative – a low-frequency, fear state I don’t want this feeding my soul. Instead, what if we reframed couple’s conflict as an invitation to explore personality paradoxes?

Because here’s the truth: Your personality traits hold the energetic keys to understanding, awareness and a more loving relationship.

When you begin to see your self-identity as sacred — and realizing the same old true for your partner. Their quirks are not problems to fix, but mysteries to explore, everything changes.

Warm and selfless, you embrace your partner’s quirks with grace — often letting the little things slide. Just remember to show yourself the same gentle acceptance. That’s where balance — and true joy — invite a deeper sense of team into the relationship. An Excerpt from my book: Unpack Your Personality

It’s Not the Fight — It’s Your Personality Traits Talking

It’s rarely about the obvious thing. (Spoiler alert: It’s not really about the $22 margarita.)
It’s often the build-up of tiny, seemingly inconsequential disagreements that, over time, create partnership triggers… until you’re emotionally flatlining.

Think of it like your tire…
A slow leak from a tiny nail might not seem like a big deal — until you wake up late to a flat tire, unable to move forward.

Same goes for relationships. It’s the small stuff — the vacation bickering about museum tours or where to eat — that silently LOUDLY signals unmet needs, misaligned traits, and unseen truths.

Vacation Vignettes Blanketed With Personality Isms 

Scenario 1: You say → “Let’s splurge on that giant margarita!”

They say → “Why? That’s overpriced nonsense. I could buy a CASE of tequila for that.”

Your carefree abundance trait just collided with their thrifty practicality trait.

Scenario 2: They say → “I’ve scheduled a museum tour, a cooking class, and then a walking tour—”

You groan → “What is this, a board meeting with snacks? I’m on VACATION, not boot camp.”

They’re Grounded Traveler (ESTJ). You? Inquisitive Free-Spirit ENTP who craves open space.

Scenario 3: You say → “We’ve done this resort five years in a row. Can we please try something NEW?”

They say → “But it’s familiar! And it’s GOOD! Why fix what’s working?”

You’re craving novelty. They’re craving reliability. You’re both right. And that’s the magic.

Seeing it now?
These conflicts aren’t problems — they’re personality in action.

…

Sound familiar?

It’s All About Spiritual Personality Typing

Did you know traits always express themselves in duality?

Every trait has a light side (love, curiosity, presence)
… and a fear-based side (control, avoidance, judgement)

What you’re witnessing during those snarky vacation moments?
That’s your shadow side waving hello from your beach chair

And if you haven’t explored the unhealed or fearful sides of your traits — or your partner hasn’t explored theirs — communication will almost always feel like a battlefield.

#journal prompt: grab a journal and without judging yourself write down three light side and three fear based aspects of yourself. Do the same with your partner. Even better ask your partner to do the same and don’t share your prompts until you are on vacation and make it a beautiful moment of self-discovery for the both of you. 

The Abstract Traveler (ISFP) is dreamy, expressive, and effortlessly artistic, you’re an inspiring partner who shows love through presence rather than words. Your quiet attentiveness is magnetic — it’s how you say “I see you” without speaking at all. Just be mindful: not everyone experiences presence the way you do, and your beautiful silence could be misread as emotional distance. Let your partner in on your love language — it makes all the difference. An Excerpt from my book: Unpack Your Personality

 

Dissecting the Dust-Up To Clarity Things

Let’s go back.

Their plan: A full scheduled day of cultural delight.
Your reaction: “Absolutely not. That sounds exhausting.”

They may have a “judging” trait — structure and planning make them feel secure.
You, wonderfully spontaneous, may lean toward a “perceiving” trait — freedom energizes your soul.

Can you FEEL how beautiful that dynamic can be — if honored?
Let your partner plan the morning, and you improvises the afternoon activities.
It’s not compromise. It’s personality harmony.

In each of these moments, what may really be happening beneath the surface is a lack of awareness — of your own personality traits or your partner’s. You might be expressing the spirit of a traveler who thrives on movement, spontaneity, and experiences that spark curiosity — traits often seen in the Harmonious traveler (ENFJ), the Enthusiastic traveler (ENFP), or the Curious traveler (ENTP). Meanwhile, your partner may embody the steady reliability of a Grounded traveler (ISTJ) or the structured intentionality of a Dutiful traveler (ESTJ).

Now can you wrap your “mind” around How Couples Who Quarrel on Vacation Return Home Happy?

Real World, Real Love, Rerun Home Happy

Let’s say you head out on a solo morning coffee walk while they chill on the balcony with a book. Then you reconnect for brunch and sightseeing. You both get your needs met — no resentment, no power struggling.

That’s alignment in action.
That’s the real souvenir — and it lasts way longer than your seashell collection.

We Travel Initially to Lose Yourselves; and we Travel Next to Find Ourselves –– Pico Iyer, Author, Poet and Travel Writer

Recap & Additional Resources for: How Couples Who Fight On Vacation Return Home Happy

Let me break it down:

✔️ Fighting isn’t failure. It’s communication disguised as chaos.
✔️ Your arguments are clues — listen to them.
✔️ It’s not about who’s right. It’s about who’s willing to listen.
✔️ Misaligned traits lead to major discontent.
✔️ Know your traits. Know your partner’s. Give grace.
✔️ Shift from managing conflict to observing growth.
✔️ Let your personality become your portal to a more loving relationship.

The Maria Liberati Show apple.co/4dlJdkD

Want to Dive Deeper? I Got You

If this speaks to you even a little bit, check out my podcast interview on The Maria Liberati Show with host The Maria Liberati 
🎧 What If You’ve Been Chasing The Wrong Version of Success All Along/
👉 Listen here.

Thank you, Maria, for believing in me — and allowing me to share my journey 🩵

🔖 Read: How to Plan Romantic Getaways For Your Personality. for fresh insights and helpful tips on crafting the perfect romantic escape tailored to your unique and your partner’s personality. Discover how understanding the 16 personality types can transform your travel and deepen your connection.

👀 Watch on YouTube 

Travel A Tonic for Self-Discovery

Can you see why I staunchly believe that travel is a tonic for the soul? Travel offers a real-time opportunity to observe your personality type in action. It’s an enriching environment—a living classroom for self-discovery—that exposes you to diverse experiences. This encourages self-reflection, fosters personal growth, and provides countless opportunities to step outside your comfort zone.

This post offers a sneak peek into my book, Unpack Your Personality: Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide. It’s part memoir (my story of self-discovery through travel), part introduction to Spiritual Personality Typing℠—a reimagining of Myers-Briggs (MBTI) through the lens of spiritual alignment—and part personalized travel guidebook. The idea is that all of these roads lead to self-discovery.

Please know that I curate these posts to be both meaningful and educational, designed to help you navigate the needs of your sacred personality type on the road, in business, and in life. If you’re interested in exploring your unique travel personality type, feel free to contact me me for a one-on-one travel session.

Ready To Get to Know Yourself

Want to Dive Deeper? I Got You

If this speaks to you even a little bit, check out my podcast interview on Speaking of Travel with Marilyn Ball:
🎧 What’s Your Travel Personality? Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide
👉 Listen here.

Thank you, Marilyn, for believing in my mission — even before I fully believed in it myself. 🩵

1. Check out my blog, How to Plan Romantic Getaways For Your Personality. for fresh insights and helpful tips on crafting the perfect romantic escape tailored to your unique and your partner’s personality. Discover how understanding the 16 personality types can transform your travel and deepen your connection.

📚 Or grab a copy of my debut book: Unpack Your Personality: Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide

Who Is Nina Zapala?

Hey, I’m Nina Zapala—creator of Spiritual Personality Typing℠, a new way to connect your mind and spirit so you can actually show up as your real self. My mission? Plant seeds for a fresh kind of thinking—where self-expression isn’t just allowed, it’s unstoppable.

I’m also the mind behind the (un)Brand: a soul-first, zero-cookie-cutter approach for founders who are done with branding clichés and performance games. No more approval-chasing. No more shrinking to fit in. The (un)Brand helps you show up fully—characteristically authentic, unapologetic, and 100% you.

With decades in branding, community, and cause marketing (and 300+ articles to prove it), I help women take back their identity and purpose. My book, Unpack Your Personality Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide., is your invite to trust your gut and journey inward.

Let’s be real—someone rocks blue hair or pitches a bold idea, and most people roll their eyes or back away. My work? Burns old scripts. Instead we light up what makes you exquisitely different.

Photo Credit: Diva Plavalaguna: 

Post Updated: 7.5.2025