What Happens When Love Unravels at Midlife?

It’s strange how a cup of coffee with a friend can split your life into a before and after.

For me, the “before” was filled with what I thought was love—shared dreams, routines, holidays, laughter, and the illusion of safety. The “after” began the moment my husband’s best friend invited me for coffee, her voice trembling as she told me what I didn’t want to believe.

“He’s cheating.”

In that instant, my world crumbled—it turned into a full-blown messy midlife I wasn’t prepared for. I know cliche, but real. I remember feeling small, invisible, disposable. My first thought wasn’t even anger—it was disbelief. Then came the tidal wave: fury, humiliation, grief, the sense of being unworthy, unlovable. I remember thinking, Was I not enough?

Nicole Kidman, ( ISFP– The Abstract Archetype) at 59, now facing her own painful, midlife divorce from Keith Urban, must be asking similar questions. Fame and fortune does not shield anyone from heartbreak. Her story, like so many of ours, reminds us that loss at midlife isn’t the end—it’s an invitation to rediscover who we really are beneath the performances and pleasing, the roles and routines we’ve played for decades.

 

Divine Intelligence Wants To Share It’s Magic … Are You Ready to Receive it!

 

Midlife as a Sacred Crossroads

Midlife can feel cruelly ironic.

We’ve built careers, raised families, supported partners, cared for our parents—and just when things should settle, the foundation shifts. A betrayal. A cheating husband. A closed door. All of these circumstances force us to stop, to look inward. But we have to be willing to let our magical, new beginning find it’s way to us.

For many women in this season, this is not a crisis but a sacred initiation. It’s the Universe’s whispering: “You’ve done life for everyone else—now, it’s time to do life for your soul.”

This is the space so many of us inhabit. The women I meet, teach, and walk alongside—visionaries, seekers, rebuilders—are not fading into retirement. They’re blooming into purpose. They are establishing businesses, mentoring younger generations, writing books, traveling solo, learning who they are when they no longer have to people-please or perform.

Midlife is not the beginning of decline. It’s the revelation of truth. If you seek clarity book a 1:1 bespoke clarity call here.

From Wounds Into Wisdom

The Unraveling Is The Blessing 

The painful irony of my own divorce was that, after I survived the ache of being replaced, I discovered something. It wasn’t that I was unlovable. It was that our marriage had never been grounded in deep mutual love.

We were two people trying to make something work because that’s what the world expected. But our values, dreams, and energy didn’t align. What I saw as “betrayal” became, with time, a mirror illuminating the ways I’d betrayed myself—by silencing my voice, dimming my light, ignoring my intuition.

The infidelity was not just a wound; it was a wisdom teacher. It revealed how fear—fear of being alone, fear of not being enough—had guided many of my choices.

When Nicole Kidman, after decades in the spotlight, faces heartbreak again, I imagine she might feel both the grief and the awakening. Because heartbreak says: “This story is over. But you—your essence, your grace, your light—are just beginning.”

Note: You have to be willing to do the work. Look at the part you played, and take responsibility. This maybe hard when you are in the throws of the sorrow and loss, but I want you to know the struggles you are experiencing are hear to teach your something–to evolve your soul. It’s part of your earthly journey of expansion. 

From Unraveling to Opportunity to Midlife Magic

Healing after betrayal asks for patience and tenderness with yourself. The ego wants revenge, validation, closure. It wants answers that never come. Divorce, like death, strips away illusions. What’s left—when all the noise quiets—is opportunity. Space to rebuild not just your life, but your sacred, self-identity.

The soul desires something deeper: “Can you surrender to what was… to make room for what’s next?”

My healing began when I stopped asking, “Why did he do this?” and started asking, “Why did I choose this dynamic?” This small, yet mighty, shift reframed everything. It’s when I finally stopped applying lipgloss spirituality, and flipped the script to devotional discipline. Meaning I began to trust what I couldn’t see, believing I was taken care of by Divine intelligence. New spiritual habits, tools; that helped me rely on my soul, to express this intelligence, through my personality type.

Meditative walking, my go-to,  had me seeing the pain as a gift, while journaling helped me express what my heart was feeling. My true self, was stirring. Slowly, I learned that healing wasn’t about getting over the past—it was about remembering my wholeness so that I don’t just give myself away like a piece of Halloween candy!

The MBTI Soul Families and How We Unravel And Heal

We each experience heartbreak differently because our personalities and souls move through the world in unique ways. Understanding your sacred self identity archetype (MBTI with a devotional discipline) can help you recognize the patterns that either support or sabotage your healing.

Below are the four Soul Families (those with similar personality attributes)—and how they navigate the emotional terrain of loss.

The Free Spirits: Sensing Perceivers (SP) 

These women crave freedom, excitement, and new experiences. They process grief through motion and action, finding solace in movement and discovery. Yet, true healing invites them to pause—to witness themselves with tenderness, to meditate, stroll through a garden…slow down long enough to meet the patterns that keep them running. Only then can new becomings unfold.

The Spirited (ESTP)

You may try to outrun the pain, chasing vitality to avoid what hurts. Healing begins when you let yourself stop, breathe, and rediscover energy through stillness and slow transformation.
Journal prompt: “What new experience will help me rediscover my confidence and zest for life?”

The Active (ISTP)

You withdraw to repair yourself quietly, seeking truth in what you can make or mend. Restoration comes not from what’s already known, but from creating what could be.
Journal prompt: “What can I build or repair that reflects my inner strength?”

The Playful (ESFP)

You reach for laughter and companionship to ease your wounds. Yet, your deepest healing emerges when you turn inward to play with your own spirit in solitude.
Journal prompt: “What spark of playfulness can I invite into my day to find joy and connect to my soul?”

The Abstract (ISFP)

You transmute your inner world through beauty, art, and nature. Healing flows when expression becomes your language, transforming pain into meaning.
Journal prompt: “How can I translate my pain into something beautiful and meaningful?”

The Stewards: Sensing Judgers (SJ) 

These women are the steady guardians of order and continuity. Grounded and dependable, they find comfort in structure and purpose. When life feels unstable or uncertain, they may spiral into worry or self-doubt. Yet, healing calls them to release their grasp on control and to trust that life’s unfolding is guided by Divine Intelligence. True restoration comes from learning that flexibility, too, is a form of faith—that everything works out as it is meant to, even when plans shift. Set up a devotional practice, do it daily; prayer, restorative yoga, meditative walking…

The Dutiful Traveler (ESTJ)

You find reassurance in structure and accomplishment. Rebuilding a sense of routine restores your balance and reminds you of your strength.
Journal prompt: “What new tradition or routine supports my sense of balance and confidence?”

The Grounded Traveler (ISTJ)

You find peace in simplicity and purpose in steady action. Bringing order to your surroundings helps quiet the noise within.
Journal prompt: “What small, steady step honors my peace today?”

The Attentive Traveler (ESFJ)

Caring for others replenishes your spirit, yet your own heart also needs tending. Healing deepens when you offer yourself the same gentleness you give so freely.
Journal prompt: “How can I nurture myself as lovingly as I nurture others?”

The Kindly Traveler (ISFJ)

You navigate loss through service, reflection, and compassion. In giving and forgiving, you rediscover light within the quiet places of your soul.
Journal prompt: “What has this loss taught me about kindness and forgiveness?”

The Harmonizers: Intuitive Feelers (NF)  

These women are deeply empathetic, intuitive, and guided by the heart. They view relationships as sacred bonds, woven with meaning and emotional truth. When love is lost, the pain can feel especially consuming, as connection forms the fabric of their joy. Yet healing begins when they turn inward to rediscover the relationship with their truest self. This is the time to ask: Where did I lose my voice? What parts of me still ache to be seen? As you learn to honor your own soul, you rebuild love from within—and every relationship you form thereafter grows from that wholeness. Dance, Tai-Chi, morning routines, meditations, journalling…are great for relationship building.

The Harmonious Traveler (ENFJ)

You find healing through meaning and service. Transform your pain into purpose by guiding others along their path to renewal.
Journal prompt: “Who could benefit from the wisdom I’ve gained through my experience?”

The Insightful Traveler (INFJ)

You need quiet space to uncover the deeper truths hidden within loss. Solitude helps you recognize the spiritual growth waiting beneath the ache.
Journal prompt: “What vision of my future self is quietly calling me forward?”

The Expressive Traveler (ENFP)

You long for freedom and authenticity. Let heartbreak reignite your creative fire, allowing you to live and love as your most radiant, unapologetic self.
Journal prompt: “Where in my life am I ready to shine fully, without apologies?”

The Seeking Traveler (INFP)

You process emotions in depth, often through reflection and imagination. Healing unfolds when you turn that inner journey into expression and creation.
Journal prompt: “What story of renewal am I now ready to write?”

The Innovators: Intuitive Thinkers (NT)

These women are visionary and analytical, finding comfort in understanding and clarity. They often turn to ideas and frameworks to make sense of life’s challenges. Yet in times of emotional upheaval, this very strength can become a trap of overthinking and overbuilding. Healing begins not with more thought, but with stillness—walking slowly, breathing deeply, and allowing silence to reveal what analysis cannot. When the noise quiets, new wisdom emerges naturally, guiding them toward inner alignment and peace. Reading, walking, journaling, stillness, alone time are optimal devotional disciplines.

The Assured Traveler (ENTJ)
You rebuild through purpose and vision. True transformation arrives when you align your goals with your heart’s quiet truth.
Journal prompt: “What new dream will give my life direction and passion?”

The Inventive Traveler (INTJ)
You find restoration through reflection and inner exploration. Insight and understanding bring the closure you seek.
Journal prompt: “What new worldview supports my peace and clarity?”

The Curious Traveler (ENTP)
You navigate loss by reframing it, turning pain into an opportunity for discovery. Let curiosity guide you back to openheartedness.
Journal prompt: “How can I use this experience to expand my understanding of love?”

The Ingenious Traveler (INTP)
You step back to observe and analyze, seeking truth in the aftermath. Healing comes when understanding softens into acceptance.
Journal prompt: “What truth about myself or love have I discovered?”

 

Divorce Wasn’t The Worst Thing It Was The Best Thing 

Rewriting the Story of  my True Self

Years later, when I met myself again—living true to myself—I knew divorce wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. It was the best thing to happen for me.

A  newfound freedom, helped me to stop living small. It helped me release the woman who lived for validation and performance and embrace my new becoming, a woman who desires to live authentically.

When we stop romanticizing what could have been, we start creating what is possible.

And that’s where renewal begins.

What if you viewed this next chapter as a grand reimagining? You’ve spent decades learning who everyone else needed you to be. Now, it’s time to remember who your soul intended you to be.

Practical Shifts for Rebuilding

Here’s what helped me transform heartbreak into healing—and might help you too.

• Simplify. Release the clutter—emotional and material—that ties you to old stories.

• Honor your intuition. Trust the quiet nudges, the small yeses and nos. They are your compass now.

• Reconnect with community. Healing accelerates when witnessed by others walking a similar path.

• Redefine aging. Midlife is expansion, not contraction. Every year adds dimension, beauty, and purpose.

• Nurture a morning ritual. Whether journaling, meditating, or walking in nature, begin each day in soul alignment.

• Reclaim joy. Not the joy of accomplishment—but the joy of reclaiming the WHO of who you really are.

The Phoenix Moment

Every woman who survives heartbreak eventually finds herself at a choice point: remain in the ashes, or rise.

Rising doesn’t mean forgetting. It means carrying the ashes as wisdom instead of weight.

For Nicole Kidman, her story of resilience—public yet profoundly personal—may soon become another testament that endings often heal the unseen parts of us that needed to be set free. Looking forward to seeing her new unfoldment!

And for you, dear reader, your rise begins in the simplest of choices: the moment you decide to meet yourself again with compassion.

You are not broken. You are embarking on a reweaving journey into the woman you were always meant to be—awake, authentic, and filled with the creator light within… It’s time to let your Divine spark within shining bright. 

A Soulful Invitation

If you find yourself standing at this same crossroads—questioning, grieving, angry, but ready to rediscover your soul’s magic—I’m here to walk beside you.

Let’s explore your story it all starts with a Clarity Call where we decode your personality path and map a soulful next chapter that feels true to who you are becoming.

Sign up and check out my learning library —to read monthly blogs full of reflections, stories, and soul practices for women awakening to their authentic selves after midlife change.

Because this next chapter? It’s not an ending. It’s your magical moment to begin again!

Please Share This Message

My hope is always to encourage fresh ways of seeing yourself and to plant seeds of truth. Through Spiritual Personality Typing℠, we can remember who we really are—and in doing so, lift the vibration of the planet together.

If this message stirred something in you, share it with a friend, sister, or coworker who may need the reminder. You never know who’s waiting for this nudge. For more inspiration, you can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn.

Travel as Soul Discovery

During my own life tsunami, I birthed a new way of seeing travel. Instead of bucket lists, I began seeking journeys led by the soul—experiences that expand, not escape. My book, Unpack Your Personality: Let Your Inner Guide Be Your Travel Guide, is part memoir, part guide, part reimagined personality framework through the lens of spirit. Each page is meant to help you discover a new destination: yourself.

If you’re curious about your unique Travel Personality Type, I’d love to explore it with you in a one-on-one session.

Dive Deeper

If this message resonates, you may enjoy my conversation on the Mindset Mastery with host Dr. Alisa Whyte: Discovering Your True Self With Spiritual Personality Typing and Travel. 👉 Listen here

More ways to explore:

• Watch on YouTube

• Read: The Hidden Personality Traits The Spark New Beginnings

• Read: How To Fall In Love With Your Personality Type

• Pick up Unpack Your Personality here

A Time for New Beginnings

Are you ready to stand among the rare 15% who truly know themselves? This isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about returning to the essence of who you’ve always been. In our one-on-one sessions, we’ll gently uncover the patterns that no longer serve you, honor your origin story and the joys that light you up. Will illuminate the map a path back to your original self, the self that feels like home. If your soul is stirring, I invite you to schedule a clarity call. In this sacred space, we’ll explore several pathways to self-understanding: identifying the patterns of your true self or we can reveal your unique travel style as a tool for awakening, or illuminate the business gifts only you are here to share. 

About Spiritual Personality Typing℠

I created Spiritual Personality Typing℠ during what I call my “midlife tsunami,” a season of upheaval that stripped away illusions and brought me to truth which taught me; old-school typology only tells half the story.  Knowing this, I developed a new paradigm one that unites the soul and self—a committed way of living authentically, unapologetically. The roadmap to your true self.

This is not about “anti-aging rhetoric. It’s about authentic aging—showing up as your truest self, wildly free and unapologetic leaving a legacy that only you can bring to the world.

Here’s what I’ve come to know: Every wrinkle is a story. Every scar, a sacred map. When we deny our true self, the soul withers. When we embrace her, we bloom into timelessness.

Nicole Kidman posed up a storm at Vogue World in Hollywood. (Jon Kopaloff)