How Going Gray Helped Me Finally Embrace My Authentic Self

How Going Gray Helped Me Finally Embrace My Authentic Self

I was sitting in my stylist’s chair, three years into my divorce, still reeling from the unraveling of the life I thought I’d live forever. For those years, I’d been coloring my hair platinum blonde, covering every silver strand that dared to peek through. That day, my stylist whizzed by and casually said, “I’ll be with you in a minute—can’t have you going out into the world looking old with gray hair.”

In that moment, the buzz of dryers and chatter around me seemed to quiet. Some women shifted uneasily, others averted their eyes, and a few gave polite knowing nods. I smiled—but inside, her words stung sharply. Not from cruelty, but from a place of misguided protection. She was, in her way, trying to save me from being seen as “old” in a youth-obsessed world.

But sitting there, I realized it wasn’t really about my hair. The sting echoed the chorus of voices I’d heard over the past three years—“Divorced at 50? You’ll never remarry.” “Why didn’t you just stay? It would’ve been easier.” It hit me: this was about my self-worth. What was I hiding from? Why was I still clinging to a version of myself that no longer fit?

In that chair, it felt like a confessional. The real reason my marriage began—and ended—was because I had abandoned myself. I’d given away my happiness, hoping someone else would fill the gaps instead of building a life from my own truth.

And that day, I decided to say goodby to dye and to show up as me—gray hair and all.

Gray hair isn’t a sign of fading—it’s a declaration that I no longer need to hide who I am

Gray Hair Is a Declaration, Not a Decline

Gray hair isn’t a sign of fading; for me, it’s a bold statement that says,  “I no longer need to hide who I am”.

Aging is not something that happens to us—it’s a cultural story designed to keep us clinging to youth and approval. But our souls have no age. When we reach midlife and beyond, our souls whisper louder, urging us to peel away the “shoulds” and “supposed to’s” until we uncover the sacred truth of who we really are.

Letting my gray hair grow out was more than a physical shift. It was an invitation to stop coloring over my truth.

When I stopped coloring my hair, I stopped coloring over my truth

Three Truths Gray Hair Taught Me

1. Trust your inner guide. If something doesn’t feel like love—toward yourself, your life, your choices—step away. Your soul is wiser than society’s scripts.

2. Question every belief. Ask, “Is this mine—or did I inherit it?” When you release what isn’t yours, you reclaim your freedom.

3. Embrace self-acceptance. This quiets the war between who the world wants you to be and who you were born to be. Pretending softens into play, anxiety melts into peace, and life becomes lighter.

Aging is about gaining the courage to finally live from your authentic self.

Ten Years Later: The Freedom of Realness

Now, when I look in the mirror and see those silver strands woven through my hair, I smile. People often compliment the gray, but what they’re really noticing is the realness underneath—the freedom to be exactly who I was always meant to be.

Maybe your gray hair isn’t the sign your soul is calling out for. Maybe it’s a different whisper—restlessness, desire, a quiet nudge you can’t ignore. Whatever it is, listen gently, honor it. Every ending simply means you’re on the threshold of a new beginning.

A Companion on Your Journey

From my own journey grew something deeply personal—Spiritual Personality Typing. But this isn’t a “program” or a set of rules. It’s a way of listening to your soul’s unique voice and aligning your life with your true self. It’s born from lived experience, not theory—a mirror reflecting your sacred uniqueness.

If your soul is whispering for more, my book Unpack Your Personality and one-on-one sessions are gentle ways to explore who you truly are beneath the noise. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here to walk beside you.

Reflective Journal Prompt

What part of myself am I still hiding to fit someone else’s idea of who I should be? If I chose to honor my truth today, even in a small way, what would that look like?

Share the Message

I hope this story plants a seed of courage—to see yourself freshly and remember your timeless gifts. Share this with a friend, sister, or coworker who might need the reminder that your true self is waiting.

Dive Deeper Into the Journey

If this story speaks to even a small part of you, you’re invited to explore more of my journey and approach through these heartfelt conversations and resources:

• Watch my interview on Real Conversations with Patricia, where I share my path to embracing imperfection and igniting purpose at 66:
  🎧 Reinvention at 66: Nina Zapala’s Journey

• Explore more inspiration through videos:
  YouTube Channel Highlights

• Read reflections on trusting intuition and authentic style:
  How To Trust Your Intuition And Inspire Others No Matter Your Age
  What’s Your Authentic Fashion Style

• And when you’re ready, my debut book Unpack Your Personality offers a gentle yet profound roadmap to your true self:
  Get Unpack Your Personality here

Trusted by Those Who’ve Walked the Path

“Working with Nina helped me remove the blind spots that were holding me back,” says Judith Wilms, TEDx speaker and author. Her bespoke clarity session was the nudge she needed to stop merely living life and start creating the life of her dreams. If that resonates, a clarity session may just be what you need too.

Schedule your Clarity Session

About Spiritual Personality Typing

Photo: Credit Nicole