How to Remember the Who of Who You Really Are….
To the women out there who have overcome life’s big hurdles—fulfilled every obligation and let others take center stage in your life. You’ve been feeling the quiet pull that something’s adrift. You just can’t put your finger on it. You’ve had glimpses of what could be, but they were fleeting. This post was authored to help you step onto the path of remembering who you truly are—so you can finally live the life you’ve always wanted. And if you’re unsure of what that looks like, keep reading. Because the purpose of it all is to live unapologetically and unbound, as you take center stage in your life.
Remembering Is the First Step
What is the remembering I speak of? If you are willing, you will begin to remember that you hold within you a spark of divinity. It’s your eternal soul that speaks to you through intuition, animating your personality.
This same divine intelligence is all around us. We’ve just not been taught to see it within ourselves. It’s what makes the whales sing their glorious songs. It’s what identifies a daffodil from a rose, and it identifies you from every other person on the planet—and from every other soul in the cosmos. Yes, this fractal of God within you is that grand.
The remembering I ask you to consider is recognizing this beautiful aspect of who you really are. When you begin to consider your life beyond just the ego, this is when you remember: you are a spiritual being having a human experience.
My Experience With Remembering
My remembering wasn’t graceful. Nor was it a slow unfolding. There was no idyllic ocean setting or walking through a field of wildflowers. Although, that would have been lovely, but that’s not how I came into remembering. Mine was like a tsunami-like a losing game of Jenga, when you see the blocks come tumbling down but you have no way of stopping them or controlling where they land.
For me, my new reality started with a jolt. It felt like I was a visitor in my own life. Very uncomfortable—like I didn’t belong anymore. It happened in New York City, standing on stage, accepting a platinum award, a pivitol moment that would change my stature in the travel industry. Or so I thought. Everything looked picture-perfect. I was traveling the world, representing luxury resorts, bespoke inns, and often-overlooked travel destinations. I kept telling myself, “Nina, you’ve finally arrived.”
And if you had met me then, you would’ve seen a hardworking woman who had it all together. Designer this and that, the windowed office, sipping in and out of cities around the states and afar.
For the most part… I created it. Thinking this is my dream life…until it was’n’t
Shape-Shifting Into Someone I Wasn’t
What you wouldn’t have seen is the years of shape-shifting and fitting myself into “corporate career woman box” you saw on stage that night. I morphed myself into the person who could sit at the table and nod along—even when something in me quietly said, this is so wrong.
Have you ever smiled in agreement while thinking to yourself, what the F is wrong with me? This isn’t me! And the problem wasn’t that I did it once—I did it so often, it started to feel normal.
What I didn’t realize then was that a part of me—my true self—was slipping away, being replaced by a character I didn’t even identify with. I see it now as identity disruption, because little by little, you take on this whole new identity that isn’t really yours.
That night in New York, I was pushing that identity to the brink—and my soul was also encouraging me to wake up and stop ignoring Her.
The Question That Changed Everything
Years of “tiny white lies”—ignoring my identity, relying on external approval instead of my own inner authority—came to a head with one simple question: Nina, is this what you really want?
I was standing on that stage, award in hand, thinking, you’ve finally arrived. Yet in the same moment, something deeper whispered again: Is this what you really want? And I answered—immediately, clearly, and without hesitation: No. That was the moment everything shifted. It wasn’t visible yet, but internally I felt the wobble. I didn’t know what was ahead, but I could feel something new was rising. This was no longer about doing things differently—it was about doing different things.
The Aftermath of Remembering
That night ignited what I now call my tsunami– the reckoning moment, which helped me recognize how far I had strayed from my true self. In the months that followed, I began to observe my experiences with greater clarity.
Why do I continue to say yes, and play a role that didn’t feel good? I had to sit in that and see it for the false belief that it was. This is the shadow work that has to happen so you can embrace the truth—your true self—the totality of you. You can’t expect to change without seeing and letting go of the layers that keep you trapped.
Heres what my tsunami taught me, when you begin to remember your true self, you can’t hide behind the mask anymore. It makes pretending nearly impossible. Remembering the totality of who you are is the first step toward living in alignment with your truth—what actually matters to you, regardless of circumstances. This isn’t easy. But honestly, now that I’ve navigated my own personal tsunami, I would rather spend the rest of my life navigating my truth than be comfortably disconnected from it. I was sick of feeling like a hollow shell walking through life numb—while a low hum of anxiety haunted me daily.
Remember, the truth never seeks approval. It’s already in its fullest knowing.
When Your Life No Longer Fits
As I began navigating through my tsanumi, I did what most of us do I look externally for answers and never landed on a place that felt true to me. That’s when Spiritual Personality Typing was born, and with it came 4 Rs—the framework of what I teach through Spiritual Personality Typing. I didn’t need any more wellness tips, motivational highs without transformation, I needed to do things differently so I could fully understand myself to the very core of my soul.
Because when you say no to a life that no longer fits… you don’t give it a makeover—you rebuild it.
The Myth of the “Ah-Ha” Moment
You’d think that awards night would’ve anchored me deeper into my success. It didn’t. In fact, it had the opposite effect. It pulled me inward.
I had built a strong relationship with my ego—achievement, external authority, identity, status, and recognition. But I had not committed to learning about my soul. Intellectually, I got it—hell, my mom used to talk to her transitioned family members, so I understood that we have a direct pipeline to the otherside.
What I hadn’t committed to was the deep shadow work that brings wisdom and truth. Now that I look back, I see where my spirit—my soul self—had intervened and kept dragging me to my meant to be, path. And I truly believe my soul was weary as I hit midlife, so this was a choice point: either get on board with a soul-fed life, or live the rest of my life ego-led.
I choose a soul-fed life led by a persistent desire to understand myself on a much deeper level which had be start questioning everything:
- Old beliefs and values
- My work, relationships, and marriage
- How I wanted to show up in the world—and what truly matters
There was no big, dramatic ah-ha moment. It was a series of experiences—and observing myself in those moments—to realize what felt meaningful… and what didn’t.
That pinnacle awards night felt flat, my joy of travel was waning, and my relationships felt superficial. And here’s the truth no one tells you: it’s rarely just one moment that wakes you up. It’s a series of nudges, whispers, and internal eye-rolls that eventually become impossible to ignore.
Common Triggers That Awaken You
Spiritual awakenings are often sparked by disruption—your soul telling you to embrace the unknown and look in a new direction if you want your new beginning to unfold. Some of the most common triggers include:
- The end of a relationship—breakups, divorce, friendships, emotional disconnections
- Major life transitions—job endings, loss, parenthood, midlife, empty nest, identity shifts
- Grief—the death of a loved one, a friend, a pet—profound loss
- Illness, injury, or near-death experiences
- Burnout, anxiety, depression—your old life becoming unsustainable
- A “dark night of the soul”—existential crisis
- A person, book, or travel experience—shifting perspective
Important note:
If what you’re experiencing includes severe distress, inability to function, panic, or feeling disconnected from reality, it may overlap with mental health concerns. Speaking with a licensed professional can be an important and supportive step.
10 Questions to Help You Remember Yourself
These questions align with the ideology of doing different things. They are not surface-level questions or a template quiz that helps you superficially identify topical layers of oneself. These questions, when given the time and nurturing needed will shift something internally in an effort to help you remember your truth.
Grab a pen and paper and sit with these:
- Who am I beyond my roles, labels, and past stories?
- What beliefs am I ready to question?
- Which emotions do I avoid—and what are they trying to teach me?
- Where am I living on autopilot… avoiding my truth?
- What do I desire right now?
- What patterns keep repeating in my life?
- What am I afraid would change if I fully became myself?
- What parts of me need compassion instead of criticism?
- What feels aligned—even if it’s uncomfortable?
- If I trusted myself completely, what would I do differently today?
You Can’t Bypass Yourself
My approach to spirituality is different. Here’s why.
You’ve probably been told to go beyond your thoughts and emotions to transform. You can’t, that’s just not how this works.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience—which means your thoughts and emotions aren’t obstacles…They’re doorways your soul wants to walk through. Your soul doesn’t want to bypass your humanity. It wants to fully embody it. This is where wisdom lives…within you.
What’s required is integration—owning all of it: the light, the shadow, the messy middle—which brings about you the totality of who you are.
Practices to Reconnect With Yourself
These are ongoing exercises that I have incorporated into my daily life. They keep me in step with soul-fed living, rather than relying on an ego-fed lifestyle. My wish is that they benefit you as well.
1. Experience Your Thoughts
Notice what’s actually running through your mind in any given moment.
Ask: Is this actually my thought?
Not everything you think belongs to you. Some of it was inherited. Some absorbed. Some never questioned.
So ask yourself: Does this feel true… or just familiar?
Keep a journal of these exercises, because you’ll begin to see repetitive behaviors you’ve inherited that aren’t yours to keep.
2. Feel It Instead of Fixing It
The next time an emotion rises—pause.
Ask: Where do I feel this in my body? Let it be there.
Then ask: What is this trying to show me?
Your emotions aren’t in the way.
They are the way.
3. Talk to the Pieces-Parts You Avoid
We all have parts we’d rather ignore. Instead of pushing them under the rug, get curious.
Ask:
Why are you here?
What are you trying to protect me from?
That egoic, shadow part of you isn’t random. It’s protective. And it has something to say. So listen.
Journal Prompt
Write this without an immediate need for an answer: What remains true about me, no matter the circumstances?
Next Steps and Additional Resources
If you are just diving in you may want to:
- Visit Chapter One watch the video on YouTube or read the blog here.
- Book a 1:1 session here to clarify your sacred, self-identity and step into the world of new possibilities
- Explore my debut book Unpack Your Personality. Grab it On Amazon
This work is not about becoming someone new, it’s remembering your true self–letting the soul animate your personality to come into union with the totality of your truth.
P.S. A Note Of Support
This work is offered freely and without ads so it can remain clear, spacious, and undiluted.
If this post supported you—and you’d like to help sustain this work—you can do so here:
Your support allows me to continue creating soul-led resources like this, without advertising disruption.
Who Is Nina Zapala?
I’ve navigated my own midlife tsunami — that overwhelming season when everything you thought defined you starts to wash away, and the world seems to look right past you. But I’ve learned that midlife doesn’t have to mean invisibility, fighting to stay relevant, or feeling marginalized. I created a new way through this powerful chapter with a sacred self-identity paradigm called Spiritual Personality Typing℠ — a framework I developed to make sense of my own tsunami that has brought me more joy, soulful self-discovery, and intentional living. Now, I help women design lives that are entirely their own — untethered from society’s expectations and rich with new beginnings, confidence, and freedom.
